The NBA season has been suspended for two weeks. Feels like two years, right?
Not being able to watch sports has been more excruciating than we could ever have imagined, but that doesn’t mean the conversations about them have to stop. It just means they have to get a bit more… creative.
NBA Reddit is a hub for the league’s discourse, because there’s no shortage of passionate fans and the breadth of conversations is out of this world.
During a global pandemic, though, some of the threads that have popped up have been interesting, to say the least. Here’s some of the weirdest; proof we’re all going a bit crazy without live NBA basketball in our lives.
“Could an Owner theoretically marry a player to circumvent the cap?”
“Like, let’s say Wes Edens just marries Giannis,” the user wrote, “he could pay him the minimum to stay with the Bucks, and just share his assets on the back end.
“Or if AD just marries Jeanie. the Lakers could incur another massive contract because AD is getting paid and laid off the books.”
Unfortunately, cap circumvention is illegal in the NBA, so this couldn’t work. Still, it’s the thought that counts.
“Would Zion have the same level of hype if his name was Herbert Bartholomew?”
This isn’t even a terrible thought.
Posted by user please_trade_horford, the question does shine a light on just how cool Zion Williamson’s name is.
“If he didnt have such a cool name, would he have gotten the same level of attention he has these last few years?” the user wrote. “Would it change things at all? What do you think?”
Zion has its biblical roots, and Lauryn Hill has a song about it in what’s probably the greatest album of all time, but would a name like Herbert be enough for NBA scouts to dismiss the otherworldly talent the guy has?
“If you’re unclear on how to follow Social Distancing just imagine you’re the defender guarding Ben Simmons at the perimeter”
Okay, this one is just mean from Hot_ArmS.
“Gotta keep at least a 6 foot of distance between you and the other person is what the experts are saying!” the user wrote.
Then again, he’s not entirely wrong.
“Inside proof Bronny isn’t Lebrons child”
It’s getting weirder, you guys.
This post is from user Benny92739, and is simply a video of Bronny James — LeBron James’ son — in the barber’s chair, with his hair puffed out.
The implication, obviously, is that a balding James couldn’t possibly has fathered this kid. Of course, that’s ignoring the immense fro James had as a teenager.
“Accurate NBA Player Names”
Here’s another one that’s actually pretty interesting.
User Warpable posted names of NBA players that are actually true, from a meaning standpoint.
For example, with LeBron James, the user notes that, “The Lebron surname derives from the French word “brun,” meaning “brown”; and therefore was a nickname for someone who habitually dressed in the colour brown. He played for the Cavs for a majority of his career and their jersey color has usually been brown. Thus, this is an accurate name.”
With De’Aaron Fox, the user writes, “De’Aaron means from Aaron, and his father’s name is Aaron, so yes, he is from Aaron.”
“Doesn’t the Utah Jazz and the Denver nuggets seem like the same team?”
“Am I the only one who thinks that the Nuggets and the Jazz are similar in some weird way?” is all user Sham2061 offers in this thread.
The implication probably just comes from Utah and Denver being somewhat similar: both mountainous, generally cold, smaller markets in the West.
Olgun Uluc is the Senior Basketball Reporter for Fox Sports Australia. Twitter: @OlgunUluc